Thursday, October 20, 2011

random bits

michael & i were talking tonight about all of the funny things elle says/does that don't make it on this blog (let's face it, i cannot blog every single day.). so, i'm putting together a collection of things for you; things she's said over the past several weeks.

random bit 1:
in the car. michael is asking me how i sight read (i'll spare you the music nerdery conversation) - solfege v. singing the note). he starts to sing something using the key names (A, D, E, C...whatever it was). from the back seat elle pipes up: "DADDY! it's ABCDEFG! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!?". this also happened with a numbers sequence (1 being the base of the it was something like 1435..whatever) with elle yelling: "NO! that's not right! it's 1! 2! 3! 4! 5!". funny, for a music nerd.

random bit 2: 
on the airplane with mommy en route from LA. i'm reading the Lane Smith book "It's a Book". The three characters are: a mouse, a jackass (you can see quickly where i'm going with this) & a monkey. obviously, the jackass is a donkey but they refer to it as a jackass. the book had a good moral to the story: kids/people don't know what a book is anymore, with all of the electronic gadgets we have. even the e-reader craze keeps you from buying a paper-based book. i digress. so the book ends with the monkey, saying to the donkey (after the donkey cannot believe that a book cannot do more than just be a book): "it's a book, jackass". i read the book and we're about to take off. elle looks at me, smiling & says: "mommy, you're the jackass".

needless to say, there was a conversation about the word. i mean, it is used in the bible, i just don't want to have that conversation with everyone we meet when my child calls me that at the store.

random bit 3:
reminded tonight, (upon hearing a van halen song at a burger joint elle informs us that she likes the song) that she's been to a van halen concert. that's right. four and a half months with child, i treated michael to our hometown stop on the 2008 North American Van Halen Tour (aka: last tour with VH ever). there were more mullets and vintage 1980s concert shirts than any one person should ever see in 2008...all in the aroma of cannibus. no lie. the point? 4 hours of van halen live seem to have made their mark on our little gal.

random bit 4:
with food all over her face, elle says "daddy, tell me you can't see my pretty face". not conceited at all.

random bit 5: 
this should be prefaced with: we have a photo album that elle likes to look through. the photos are of herself (refer to rb4, above). anyway, they're photos of everything - the hospital, with grandparents & great grandparents. there is a photo of my grandpa buesing holding her. it is one of the few images we have of him holding her she asks about him every single time she sees that photo.

recently, she asked where grandpa buesing was. after having a slight panic attack, i explained that he'd gotten sick and when she was 15 months old, went to heaven and was with Jesus. so, a few days ago, she was knee deep in all of her arts & crafts supplies. i asked her what she was doing and her response? "uh. i making mr. gwampa buesing a card. i tink he'll like it.".

tear, tear.

random bit 6:
this was intended for posting before this post but it somehow fell through the cracks.

this year, we are having elle's first ever friends only invitation birthday party. we (mommy) sent out a load of invites (if one kid from her class is invited, they're all invited...count 23 invites + church friends). which means i had mostly random folks emailing me - but they all had our home phone number. and that brings me to this story. it's awesome.

ACT 1; scene 1:
thursday night, at 9 pm, i'm laying in bed with elle, trying to convince her it's time to go to bed. she's dozing off and the home phone rings. who the heck calls at 9 pm?! my first thought is that it is someone from work. here is how the conversation with michael goes:
me:  who called?
m: i don't know someone selling something. it was a florida number (the benefit of both of us working with clients all over the nation is that we know ridiculous information like area codes for every major area of the US). i told them 9 pm was entirely too late to be calling this house and hung up.
***pause. they asked for you.
me: huh? they asked for me & you just hung up!? i hope it wasn't someone from work (haven't you ever had a large scale furniture emergency? i have.).
m: well if it was someone from your work then they needed to hear that.
***he goes to get the phone. i look at the number and don't notice it. besides, my current florida project is not in this area code. whew.
me: i hope it wasn't a parent calling to RSVP for her party. but surely they would know 9 pm is kind of late...
aaaand scene.

ACT 2, scene 1:
e's dayschool. we're both picking her up so we can run some last minute party errands.
dayschool director (to michael): did you get a call last night around 9?

m: uuuuuuuuuum. yes?
me (in my head): oh. my. god. oh dear. oooooooh dear loooooorrrrd.
dd: it was a parent calling to rsvp.
me (in my head): uh, the invite did say tuesday. thanks for waiting TWO WHOLE DAYS WHEN I'VE ALREADY BOUGHT ALL PARTY FAVOR BAGS (i do have extras, but still)
me (out loud): very nice michael (i really used his last name).
m: oh. wow. how am i going to fix this one? i thought it was a telemarketer. oh wow. this is awkward. grovel, grovel.
dd: well, i told her that just didn't sound like you (thank God, she likes us & knows we're nice people...unless you call after 9, apparently).

now, he did call this number back when we got home. but she hasn't called us surprise. and yes, i DID laugh at him all of the way home (and for most of the weekend).

moral of the story for you? if you don't want a quick lecture on calling our house after bedtime and before getting hung up with no chance to respond, don't call after 8:59. unless your guts are LITERALLY somehow coming out of any orifice on your body.

moral of the story for some in our house?: wait to see what they want before giving your soapbox talk.
love you, michael/daddy. :)

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